One thing I hate the most or can't handle or impacts me for a longer time is someone ignoring me. Damn, damn damn, I haven't learnt how to deal with it and still not able to cope up with.
On the same side even failure/rejection is another thing which I can't handle, well, at least I know the possibilities of failing. Over the years I have come across failures and have myself prepared. Rejection/failure is something one knows it very well. It's near to impossible if one doesn't know he/she might get rejected.
Let's get back to getting ignored. For example : not replying to my messages, not acknowledging my thoughts, no communication, not responding at all. I am struggling to cope up with these situations. Days pass by, sometimes a month but the situation and thought still linger in my head. Why did that person ignore me? what went wrong? what did I do wrong? That happens when I absolutely have zero clue. And in case I know the reason, if its my mistake, I actually, formally, apologize.
Why do I apologize? I like to talk to people, from being a silent boy to talkative adult I have taken decades to transform. I have tried being silent and go rogue, its simply not happening. Even in my earlier post I have ranted changing myself, but why should I change for somebody else? May be the answer is I should change, for myself and not depend on others. It's a fight within.
The bottom line - Ignore me and I will go rogue.
