A memorable year 2012

It has been an eventful year. There have been only a handful of memorable years for me, of them 2012 is the best.

The year started with registering a property in my and N's name. The biggest achievement till now. I never had so much freedom to think about till I joined my current company. Financially speaking I am sound than ever. Doesn't mean that I have leverage of living a King's life, but spending as much as I haven't done before.

Chinni's school admission was another step. There was time when I sometimes didn't believe I am a father. And this year, I got admission to my kid. Uuffff, unbelievable!!! This was quite revealing, as the school is near to our home, hardly takes 15-20 minutes to reach. I always wanted Chinni not to travel far to school and thankfully we got a good and economy one near by.

Avenger, my first bike (although I had a scooter, but bike is a bike). This wasn't a dream. I just got attracted to bikes very recently and it happened immediately. It was such a co-incidence, Deepa and Vijay also got a baby on the same day. And also N's Dio arrived this year. So we bought 2 two wheeler-es this year.

Trip to Singapore. This was totally different. The trip reminded Hong Kong everyday. It was an awesome trip and a good break during stressful days.

Naina is carrying. Another baby expected in the first quarter of 2013. I am really waiting, will get back the memories of Chinni :)

Jyoti and Navneet returned to Bangalore. We got a good companion in them. A trip to coorg, couple of times we stayed at their house and weekend visits have made really a sought after friendship. During our stay in Vijaynagar, it was Deepa and Vijay's house.

Another unsuccessful year in my professional life. Didn't get a promotion this year as well, I was expecting it though. I have the skills, the expertise, a 'will' to accept any task, complete the assigned task and the all the ingredients, but still I am not 'there'. Definitely there is something missing in me, don't know exactly what!. One thing I realized (after publishing this post), that I lack ownership. I feel, I don't own the product I am working on. In simple words, I don't take up work by myself. I do take up tasks myself, but not always. There is an inconsistency in this regard. One has to work towards getting the product through all the odds. 

Its been 8.5 years. The initial years were bad. I had lack of concentration, didn't understand what I have to do and just finished my job. Truly speaking I didn't get a hang of it. All my peers moved to next level, I was left alone. Couldn't bear this and changed company. I improved a lot in the next company. Technically I grew, but the lack of ownership had just begun. This has been haunting me till now. This is my nature, a built-in feature, its in my genes and little hard to change it. This happens not only at office, but also at home. N knows this very well. She is a victim of it. For eg: Chinni makes the living room a mess before going to sleep. N makes her sleep and comes back to see the mess still lying around. And I am watching tv as if I have nothing to do with the mess!!! Just takes 2 minutes to clear it up, but I don't do it. 

These things have to be taught in childhood. And in my childhood, I haven't done anything on my own. I was never taught/told to do things, cleaning, washing, small small works at home, helping mom etc etc. So I have grown up without taking responsibilities on my own. Now I find it difficult to do it myself. 

This was a good realization. Blogging is making me realize a lot of things I never think of. It's good to get to the root cause and bring a change in me. Wish I had a friend who can "discuss" all these stuff. Well, the least I can do is teach my daughter. I don't want her to blame me when she grows up. The biggest responsibility is teach her.

Ufff, this post is going in all directions of my thoughts. Will find a new post for these thoughts.

Hoping the new year party is going to be a rocking one :)

Good bye 2012. I will always remember you.