A new stage of my life

"Life is so beautiful that Death has fallen in love with it" - Yann Martel

There is no escape from death. This is a known universal truth and people still don't accept it. I can understand the bond shared between people, the love, the affection, the memories,  a wish to have these continued for some more time......but how long ? there has to be an end, no denial, but yet there is no acceptance.

Probably I am at a stage where I am going to start witnessing the demisal of my elder generation. You, the person who is reading this post, may think I am such a heartless character, may be yes to a large extent. But then what do I do ? I don't have a control of lot of things.

16th August, I was at my mom native place. That's a place where I have received immeasurable love. My uncle, Palaxaiah, packed 30 kgs of rice packet to take it home. An hour later he was unwell and got admitted to hospital in Gadag. He went through brain surgery and never recovered. Sad to say, he had a heart attack today morning and is no more.

Yesterday evening I requested mom to prepare dosa for today's breakfast. Mom prepares dosa batter with the same rice that my uncle gave me. I normally don't ask for the next day's breakfast. But I don't know why I had an urge for dosa. Was that some kind of indication ?

Not sure if that was an indication. But surely humans tend to link occurrences, like the above one. Mom was in total denial to accept her brother's demise. The love, the affection was strong that she was asking god why didnt she get death before her brother's. She was even blaming me for not letting her to visit him all these days, when he has been hospitalized since 16th August.

I am more of practical person than emotional. For me its a little difficult situation to accept what mom commented. Or may be its the generation gap that doesn't make me think in her way.

On the other hand, Dad is going through rough tides. Don't know when he is gonna collapse.

N will have a tough time coping with me in future.

The progression

During late 2009, Dad was under going through lot of pain and suffering. He used to get fever often. Legs had swelling. Eyes were a little impaired and couple more problems. Till this time he was being treated at Kidwai hospital, Bangalore.

This continued for couple of weeks. We consulted a doctor nearby and Dad used to take medication. We had the least knowledge that this could be because of CML. Later, probably after couple of weeks more, there was a particular test done and doctor disclosed that he had developed resistant to Imatinib and the disease had progressed to Blast Crisis stage.

CML has 3 stages
1. Acute
2. Accelerated
3. Blast Crisis

The disease had jumped from Acute to Blast Crisis. And at this stage, the disease has to be treated with a medicine called Dasatinib or Sprycel. The doctor could have given a heads up explaining about further care or further course of action. I felt we had to consult a doctor who can give personal care. 

From one of our relative we got the contact of Dr Neelesh Reddy, Oncologists, Columbia Asia Hospital, Yashwantpur. Dr Neelesh did the complete case study and explained everything and possible treatment. Dasatinib was the only medicine to control at this stage. There were side effects involved with this medicine as well. Fatigue, diarrhea,  constipation, reduction in platelets are a few.

The initial days of the medication was roller coaster with Dad's health. With constant consultation he became stable and started leading a better life.

The medicine cost was Rs 1.6 lacs per month, but with a program run by Bristol Mayers, manufacturer of  Sprycel, we could get couple month's of free medicine on purchase of one.

I would mark this as a second stage of his fight with CML.

Chinni's favorite songs

Here is the list of Chinni's favorite songs which makes her droll any time of the day.

1. Hukka bar - Khiladi 786
2. Battameez dil - Yeh Jawani Hai Diwani
3. Pareshaan - Ishaaqzaade
4. Disco deewane - SOTY
5. Ishq wala love - SOTY
6. Marjaaniya - Vicky donor
7. Jiya re -  Jab tak hai jaan
8. Jile zaraa - Talaash
9. Chammak challo - Ra One
10. Hairat - Anjaana Anjaani
11. Chak de - Hum tum, in fact most of the songs from Hum tum
12. Dost hai hum to
13. Party on my mind - Race 2
14. Yeh Ishq hai - Jab we met

CML - How did it start

Weight reduced dramatically : This was the first symptom. Dad noticed his weight reduced rapidly in couple of months. I don't remember or know of any other issue  that he had faced. Probably he went down 5 to 10 kgs in two months.

Dad consulted a local doctor and got primary investigations done. His platelets count had dropped a lot. Doctor was suspicious and asked for further investigations to be carried out. He then came to Bangalore and investigations revealed that the dreaded disease had chosen another victim. He was suffering from blood cancer, medically termed as CML, Chronic myelogenous leukemia.

CML is a cancer of the white blood cells. It is a form of leukemia characterized by the increased and unregulated growth of predominantly myeloid cells in the bone marrow and the accumulation of these cells in the blood. CML is a clonal bone marrow stem cell disorder in which a proliferation of mature granulocytes (neutrophils, eosinophils and basophils) and their precursors is found.

The disease was in its initial stage. Imatinib or Gleevec as termed by Novartis, was the preferred medication. During 2002-03 a month's medicine costed around Rs 10, 000/-

Later, after several years probably in 2008-09 the medicine was being distributed from free, in India. Not sure if its available for free now throughout India.

Dad had to get preliminary investigations done every month. Basically his platelets had to be in control or should not go below 1.2 lac barrier.

That's how it all started.