Parenting Skills

Striking the right balance between home and career is increasingly important. Amazing to know a company realizes this and offers tools, information resources to assist managing the challenges of balancing employee's life at work as well as at home.

Parenting skills was such session organized a week ago. Missing this opportunity, being a Dad of 1 year 7 months kid, wouldn't be the right thing to do. In fact, it was an opportunity to brush up the known skills and know the unknown ones. Everybody learns technical skills, communication skills, managerial skill and ever wonder you would need parenting skills too. Believe me, it is truely difficult to understand your baby. The more you know better the relation. And there is no ending to know your baby, it just doesn't end. As the baby grows the needs, demands, desires, behavior, attitude ...... change on a daily to monthly to quarterly to yearly basis. 

I am here going to put together what I learnt in one hour session. Not the entire stuff but the basic five love languages that every parent should learn and understand.

• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

Words of Affirmation can be accepting what your child does either right or wrong. There is a learning curve at every stage. Young and elders commit mistakes often knowingly or unknowingly. But children do it unknowingly most of the times. Accept it and correct it. Affirmation could be in other form of appreciation, encouragement in public or private. This is really important. Don't always compare your kid with the best ones, (s)he definitely interprets as "I don't have the ability". Appreciate your child for what has been done, giving a pat on the back can increase confidence and bring up the best in him.

Quality Time is as much and more necessary as the affirmative words. Children need your attention all the time, a 100% is what expected. I have noticed the same in Chinni. Recently Nanda brought this to my notice, after my return from office I used to open up my laptop and scroll through the luring networking sites eager to know what my buddies are upto. Chinni would be pulling my hand asking for something, ignoring which tears rolled out a few times. Ignorance came because she used to drag me to kitchen searching for an interesting thing almost unknown to herself. Quality time is what Chinni expects from her dear pappa, so would your child. Practice a few things like create 1:1 opportunity, do activities together, maintain eye contact and follow bed rituals like singing songs, telling stories or could be anything that your kid is interested in.

Don't you love gifts ? Everybody does. I still expect gifts being the major earning resource of my family. Time has passed by and its my turn to give instead of expecting. Gifts can bring a new smile on child's face, get away with happiness and loads of love towards you. This little smile can cure your tiredness, stress and tension too. No need that it has to be expensive every time. Just a word that pappa will get chocky in the evening way back from office lit up Chinni's face.

Acts of Service is what we all do. But do you do it the right way? For example helping your child in his/her studies, cooking the favorite food, getting involved in what (s)he is interested in a new skill, drop and pick up from school could be some of them. Services never end, that's an on going process till death. Doing it with a little care, love and passion makes a huge difference.

Kisses, hugs, holding hand, playful gesture, a pat on back for good job are all indeed part of the fifth love language, Physical touch. We all shower love and happiness when they are doing good. The same applies when your kid is struggling. You need to give your shoulder, your support in bad times.

Every child may or may not require all of them and may need them in different quantity. Its entirely up to you to understand which one is needed by your child. Some times compensating gift with quality time is just not the right way. Gift and time are totally different for any individual.

So what do all these five love languages preach ? Fill up the Emotional Love tank, speak the language that your kid understands and perceive as love. Finally, a touching video to watch, didn't find one with English sub-titles (Please let me know if you get it). The child steals some money to buy his father's 1 hour, since he earns $500/hr, to attend a function at his school. Father punishes before listening to him and regrets later.